It is good that you don’t know what you don’t know.This conversation is born of respect and of humility, neither of arrogance nor hubris.
As ones hair grays and the arrow of time accelerates, it is fascinating how much better we understand the costs of life. When we are in our twenties it is intriguing how carefree and risk-orientated we are. As we age, and particularly as we have children, life’s lessons become more persuasive. Perhaps it is also the “memento mores,” the reminders of our mortality that actually ring a bell that we finally are capable of hearing. For whom the bell tolls, it tolls for me.
Maybe it is when you get to that age when you read the obituaries everyday to see which of your friend’s parents have died, but are not surprised when some of people just a little older than you are there. Maybe it is also, that your body is no longer an unbreakable, endurance machine. When you run, or bike, or swim, or maybe even when you walk, your body reminds you of its ‘humanness.’
This past several months have been a time of great reading: Looming Tower, No God But God, Brothers Karamazov, and the Life of Robert F. Kennedy. One cannot avoid the fragile nature and brief nature of our time here. One also cannot ignore how close we have been and are now to our potential demise, not just as individuals, but rather as a people, and more importantly as a species.
This is a long preface to a couple of thoughts. While we do not know what we do not know, it is about time we learn. We can no longer feign ignorance about our inability to deal with the finite nature of our time here. My grandmother passed recently, by father three years ago. (His death is still an open wound; his loss a nightmare from which I still hope to awaken). Both of these are chimes on life’s clock reminding me that this is it. The lesson is clear; things and money are both replaceable. Time is not. ONCE it is spent is it gone. We need to treasure time… Once spent, it is gone.
Regardless of your religious belief, your political persuasion, your economic status, or lack there of, death treats all equally. Recently, a public speaker was commenting that in this country, all of us our born equally, “and some of us just stay that way.” It is also worth acknowledging, that we all die equally. At the twenty-third hour and the sixtieth minute, our clock stops. So does everyone else’s clock. It is a cruel irony of humanness that we are all the same in birth and in death. Some of us are better prepared than others for each event, but the fact of both is the same.
The inherent message of this reality is two fold. First if there is something you really want to do: do it. Do not put it off, because you can be only certain of the time you have at this moment. Make sure that it includes celebrating your family and friends. They share life’s path with you, it is important that you thank them. The second piece is to make sure to leave something positive behind. With very few exceptions, when we die the hole we leave is very much like the hole we leave in bay after swimming. It fills in instantly.
Several books have talked about the impact of one thing on the course of human history. The Tipping Point articulates the impact of the final straw that changes weather, history, life etc. With that much potential impact, it is not a privilege, but rather a responsibility to leave something positive behind. Whatever that is should not be limited by this author’s limited perspective. You need to make the most of your time and your life; to be authentically who you are; and to leave something positive behind. That requires that you be a participant in your life, not merely a spectator. The other observation is that a little good deed can have staggering impact.
Take a deep breathe today, celebrate the gift of your life, and make a positive difference for good.
Ron Phipps January 2007
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